Is This it?
by Adaline Mari
Summary: Alec suffers a coma after a soccer accident and almost a year later it comes the time for Magnus to make a decision on whether to keep going or pull the plug. When a gift from Alec turns up it makes Magnus' decision that much harder. All human AU - Rated T for resulting injuries Alec faced, just to be safe!


**A/N: Hi everyone! If you've followed over from MagnusBane800 then welcome back. If you're new then welcome! I used to write stories on a different account called MagnusBane800. You can still find all my old works over there but anything new will be here! This is a rewrite of a story by the same name on MagnusBane800 to get me back into the swing of writing. I hope you all enjoy it.**

 **Disclaimer: All rights belong to Cassandra Clare.**

0.o.0.o.0

"Mr. Bane, I am merely suggesting you begin to think about what the best course of action is. At this point in time it is necessary that you, as Mr. Lightwood's listed next of kin, start looking at what needs to be done. For both Mr. Lightwood's benefit, and your own." The doctor spoke in a calm and professional manner, which only agitated Magnus more.

"There is nothing to think about. I am not going to pull the plug on my boyfriend. I don't care how long it's been, he will pull through." Magnus spoke sharply, words tumbling from his mouth like fire.

The doctor took a breath, "Mr. Bane, there is nothing more we can do. It is foreseeable that Mr. Lightwood will never exit his comatose state. We are not forcing you to make a decision, we are simply suggesting that you think about it. As a medical professional, I feel it is the next step in our course of action." Before Magnus could snap out a reply the doctor nodded his head and exited the room, leaving Magnus alone in the bright fluorescently lit room. Alone, except for the person lying unconscious in the bed. Magnus' blue eyed beauty, only he hadn't seen those blue eyes in almost a year now.

Eleven months ago Alec was playing soccer when he suffered an injury. He had played for years and years, and Magnus never considered the possibility that something like this would happen. Alec was always okay. He used to get so excited for the games. He'd spend all his free time training. He wanted to become the best he could be and end up playing for one of the big teams. Everything changed eleven months ago when, during the last game of the season, Alec was struck in the temple by another player's cleat. Alec hadn't woken up since that night.

He suffered a concussion due to brain swelling and he became comatose when the swelling plateaued and never went down. Ever since then Magnus went downhill. He quit his job and spent every second of visiting hours by Alec's side. He only left to go home and sleep, although it was more tossing and turning and very little sleep.

Sometimes Alec's family would come to see him. His parents came a few times right at the beginning but then they slowly stopped showing up. Alec's father ceased to come at all and Alec's mother came only occasionally. It seemed disownment due to sexuality couldn't even be fixed by near death.

Alec's siblings, Jace, Isabelle, and Max came fairly often. They too started coming less and less, everyone slowly returning to their old lives. Everyone but Magnus. He sat in the chair beside the bed, staring at Alec, his thoughts racing in his head. It seemed everyone was slowly moving on but him. Perhaps the doctor was right, he should start thinking about what to do. It doesn't seem right to keep Alec in this state, to force him to "live" like this.

Magnus wonders, every time he speaks to Alec, if he can hear him. Still, he speaks anyway. "Alec... I don't know what to do. You always helped guide me in decisions I didn't know how to make. Now the decision is about you, and you're not here to help me make it." Magnus sighed before he continued.

"They want me to think about ending this," his voice broke and he took another shaky breath as he reached out for Alec's hand. "They want me to pull the plug. To give up on you. Maybe that's the right thing to do but I can't. I can't Alec. I need you. You have to wake up." Tears started to roll down Magnus' cheeks, "Please. Please wake up."

0.o.0.o.0

Hours pasted of Magnus going back and forth between crying and feeling completely empty. He never let go of Alec's hand, hoping he would eventually feel it squeeze his in return. He didn't know how much longer he could take this. Maybe today was so much harder because it was their anniversary. They had been together for three years now. Although eleven months of the last year was spent like this. Alec in a coma and Magnus crying by his bedside.

"It doesn't seem right to make a decision like this today. We should be out celebrating right now. I shouldn't be questioning whether or not to keep you alive… God I can't believe I just said that. Of course I have to keep you alive." Magnus bit his lip, "but it's not fair to you, is it? Or me I suppose. Maybe it'd be better if I listened to the doctor." He groaned and threw himself back into the chair, at a complete loss of what to do.

He sat there for a while, his thoughts roaming over what to do. He squeezed Alec's hand for one last time, wishing he would feel something back. When he didn't he stood with a heavy heart, kissed Alec one last time before saying, "I love you, Alexander. This doesn't change anything. It's you, only you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He let the tears roll freely down his face as he brushed Alec's cheek and said, "Happy anniversary, love."

Magnus stepped back and turned to exit the room when the door opened. Jace and Izzy walked through the door, Izzy holding a blue gift bag. They both looked at Magnus, then Alec, and back to Magnus. Izzy stared without saying anything until Jace cleared his throat, "we have something for you."

Izzy shook her head and nodded as she held the bag out, "Alec gave us this to keep secret until he was ready. It was for you. We weren't sure when to give it to you but we knew what today was so we thought maybe today was best…" She smiled weakly, it not reaching her eyes, as Magnus took the bag from her hand. She stepped forward and hugged him tightly, "we're sorry."

They both said their partings to Alec, unaware Magnus had made his choice to end things, and they exited the room. Magnus stood frozen for a moment before walking slowly back to the chair. He sat down and opened the gift bag, finding a stuffed bear inside. He smiled slightly and pulled the bear from the bag. It smelled of Alec's cologne. That was Izzy's doing, she must have sprayed it. It still brought tears to his eyes. It was the smell he longed for every day. He clutched the bear close to his chest, squeezing it tightly. When a voice began to play from the bear Magnus jumped. It was a voice he knew well, but hadn't heard in a very long time.

"I love you, Magnus Bane. I want to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?" Alec's voice sounded from the bear and rang through the room. Magnus stared at the bear with shock, pain, and regret. It only took a moment before the tears began flowing heavily, his breath coming in short pants. Magnus' heart tore apart, the pit of his stomach dropping to the point of making him feel sick. He squeezed the bear again which resulted in the recording being played again and Magnus crying all the harder.

He looked at Alec and whispered, "I'm so sorry. I wish it wasn't like this." He cried more, "I will marry you, Alexander. Perhaps in another life, but I will." He opened the bag to place the bear back inside when he spotted a ring box in the bottom, he couldn't bring himself to open it. He stood, bag in hand, and leaned over Alec to place a kiss on his forehead. He stood upright again and whispered, "Goodbye, Alexander."

He walked slowly across the room and lifted his hand to the door handle. As he twisted the knob he heard the sound of wheezing behind him, followed by the sounds of medical tubes smacking the plastic railings of the bed. Magnus' hand fell from the knob and he turned around slowly, finding Alec struggling to sit up and disorrientedly pulling at the IV's in his hands and arms. Magnus dropped the bag and ran to the bed. "Alec, Alec stop. Baby, hey, it's okay. You're okay. You're safe."

Magnus struggled to speak through the tears that were forming, in shock over his boyfriend waking up. Alec struggled to speak, his throat much too dry, "Mags… What's going on?" Alec looked up at him, "why are you crying? What's happened?"

Before Magnus could answer nurses and doctors rushed through the door, nearly crushing the gift bag on the floor. They ushered Magnus out of the room and closed the door behind him. Magnus stood in the hallway staring at the closed door before collapsing to his knees. Nurses came over and helped him into a chair to wait, where he sat and waited, and waited, and waited.

After what felt like a period longer than the past eleven months the doctors and nurses exited the room. Alec's primary doctor came to speak to Magnus. "It seems the swelling in Alec's brain has gone down enough for him to return to a conscious state. It's still not completely back to normal, and he has suffered very mild amnesia, but as far as we can tell he's okay. He is well on the road to recovery. We'll have to keep him here for a while still to monitor his levels and make sure the swelling doesn't return, but it shouldn't be terribly long before he is well enough to return home."

Magnus nodded along even though he wasn't paying terribly close attention. Occasionally the ringing in his ears would go down enough for him to hear what was being said, others it was much too loud to hear anything at all. How could he focus when Alec was back. After eleven months the only thing he cares about hearing is Alec's voice. "You may go see him, just take it easy and be gentile—"

Before the doctor could finish Magnus spun on his heels and rushed down the hallway to Alec's room, entering the room quietly. Alec looked up at him when he entered, "Magnus. Oh, Magnus, I'm so sorry. I never meant to put you through all this." Alec's voice went in and out, his throat still too dry to be talking very much. Magnus' eyes watered and he shook his head as he made his way to Alec's side.

"I am just so glad you're back, Alexander. I've missed you so much." Magnus fell into the chair he knew all too well and reached out to hold Alec's hand, feeling Alec squeeze back for the first time in almost a year. Alec's eyes shifted towards the table and Magnus' followed, seeing the bag sitting atop it. "I didn't want you to find out this way. I had a plan on how to ask you. It never should've happened like this."

Alec's voice broke and Magnus squeezed his hand, "I don't care how it happened, Alec. I care that you're awake. I care that now you can hear my response when you couldn't before."

Magnus smiled at Alec slightly and Alec bit his lip, "what was your response?" Alec waited nervously for an answer, as if it could be anything other than an affirmative. "Yes, Alexander. Of course, yes."

Alec smiled widely and Magnus stood to lean over the bed and kiss him. Alec requested Magnus retrieve the ring, which he did and Alec slipped it on his finger. Magnus smiled happily and sat on the edge of Alec's bed. Their hands never separated and they sat for hours talking about everything that has happened in the past eleven months. Magnus even admitted that he had decided to pull the plug today, and Alec didn't blame him at all.

0.o.0.o.0

 **A/N: I hope you all liked it! Please leave me a review of what you thought! It feels nice to get back into writing again. If anyone has any requests of old stories they'd like me to redo or new story ideas then please leave it in a review or send me a PM. I love hearing from you guys! I'll see you all soon in my next story.**

 **P.S. I know Fanfiction used to have a line break button that you could insert but I don't see it anymore? I don't know if I'm just missing it or if it's just been too many years since I've written and things have changed. If someone could clue me in I would appreciate it! Thanks guys!**

 **Till next time,**

 **Adaline Mari**


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